move faster!

[u/Le_Grand_Heros]

/img/8blqzta6xy1b1.png

[u/Anastasius525]

I have no idea wtf I'm doing

[u/Realistic-Weather360 → u/Anastasius525]

honestly under appreciated

[u/Lilsilly114 → u/Anastasius525]

Insert random bullshit, go! meme

[u/bonferoni → u/Lilsilly114]

you shouldnt insert random bullshit, thats how you get a uti

[u/SwimAppropriate9111]

I want to try something I saw online

[u/chrisbaker1991 → u/SwimAppropriate9111]

Did you Google "en passant?"

[u/springfox64 → u/chrisbaker1991]

Holy hell

[u/KylianAJZ → u/springfox64]

New response just dropped

[u/MikeAlpha2nd → u/KylianAJZ]

Actual zombie

[u/Complete_Spot3771 → u/MikeAlpha2nd]

call the exorcist!

[u/Specialist-Block1 → u/Complete_Spot3771]

Hippity hoppity your now property

[u/SirLegoBrickThe5th → u/Specialist-Block1]

You’re *

[u/TheJackasaur11 → u/springfox64]

r/yougoogledenpassant

[u/Disnerd93749203 → u/TheJackasaur11]

Holy hell

[u/lollerkates1 → u/TheJackasaur11]

WELL NOW I WANNA DO IT

[u/CockroachesRpeople → u/springfox64]

New sex Position just dropped

[u/Equidis → u/chrisbaker1991]

r/anarchychess

[u/gillgar → u/chrisbaker1991]

This made the parent comment so much funnier and I can’t explain why. Legit laughed out loud

[u/chrisbaker1991 → u/gillgar]

That was my goal. It wasn't the top comment at the time. I knew what my comment was going to be I just needed someone to set it up first. Thanks u/SwimAppropriate9111

[u/Anime-Grape]

Now my move

[u/ExplanationSpecial23 → u/Anime-Grape]

U can also that during a yugioh match too

[u/creepy_gay_weirdo → u/ExplanationSpecial23]

Chain Ash?

[u/EndMePleaseOwO → u/creepy_gay_weirdo]

When my opponent tries to castle but I have Baronne

[u/Zealousideal-Map4756]

That doesn’t move that way

[u/Cumity → u/Zealousideal-Map4756]

The longest it can go is 2

[u/sweet_tinkerbelle → u/Cumity]

only the tiny ones

[u/Much-Bathroom-3461 → u/Cumity]

Cm or inches?

[u/ReleasedGaming → u/Much-Bathroom-3461]

Nanocentimeters or better: Planck Lengths

[u/alsocommm → u/Zealousideal-Map4756]

Putting it there is illegal

[u/dngerszn13 → u/alsocommm]

Check, mate.

^{after the deed is done with a male escort in Australia}

[u/No_Total2636 → u/Zealousideal-Map4756]

Rematch?

[u/caeli04 → u/No_Total2636]

Sure, 1 more round.

[u/wubwubdubdub45 → u/Zealousideal-Map4756]

I don't want the bishop to do that to me

[u/spacedogimagery → u/wubwubdubdub45]

Once again the bishops got me pinned.

[u/Equivalent_Rock_6530 → u/wubwubdubdub45]

I laughed to hard at this

[u/SCP-Agent-Arad → u/Zealousideal-Map4756]

That piece can’t go there

[u/EvolvedMonkeyInSpace → u/Zealousideal-Map4756]

My favourite

[u/guftgoo → u/Zealousideal-Map4756]

That's a bird's opening

[u/datGryphon → u/guftgoo]

Wait until you see my wife's English Opening. 😼

[u/RefrigeratorSudden65]

"Why'd you bring the horse here?"

[u/BicycleElectronic163 → u/RefrigeratorSudden65]

peter, the horse is here

[u/shipoopro_gg → u/BicycleElectronic163]

I haven't seen family guy in years, and I still automatically read that in Lois' voice

[u/ForsakenWeakness838 → u/shipoopro_gg]

Same xd

[u/Exshot32 → u/shipoopro_gg]

Petahhh

[u/Ok-Soft-9734 → u/shipoopro_gg]

Peeetaah

[u/netherlands69 → u/BicycleElectronic163]

another family guy fan ?

[u/Gold_Recognition5183 → u/RefrigeratorSudden65]

Chill he is my friend, bojack

[u/SadhorseFromThe90s → u/Gold_Recognition5183]

You know me, THE Bojack Horseman, The horse from horsin around, also Philbert in Philbert, you gotta know about me, everyone knows Bojack... Horseman, the horse

[u/Aggressive_Village46 → u/RefrigeratorSudden65]

omg why is it shaped like a horse?

[u/dancepuppetdance → u/RefrigeratorSudden65]

Mr. Hands? Is that you?

[u/Character-Release-62 → u/dancepuppetdance]

If you know, you know!

[u/-ClassicShooter-]

I didn’t expect that move

[u/asBad_asItGets → u/-ClassicShooter-]

Wow, you’re really gonna do THAT? You’ve fucked this whole thing up for me.

[u/Icy-Jelly9648]

Outstanding move

[u/Ok-Actuator-5021 → u/Icy-Jelly9648]

I wish I had my partner cheer me on like that in an overly enthusiastic game announcer voice.

~~~ ✽✽✽ OUTSTANDING MOVE!!! ✽✽✽ ~~~

~~~ ✽✽✽ GREAT!!! ✽✽✽ ~~~

~~~ ✽✽✽ KEEP GOING!!! ✽✽✽ ~~~

[u/Enough-Serve-7790 → u/Ok-Actuator-5021]

FINISH HIM!

[u/DraycosGoldaryn → u/Enough-Serve-7790]

FLAWLESS VICTORY!

[u/Tainticle → u/DraycosGoldaryn]

FATALITY!

wait :(

[u/TiberiusToast → u/Tainticle]

Praying Mantis be like:

[u/Bryten_131 → u/TiberiusToast]

Yep

[u/Lilsilly114 → u/Tainticle]

I laughed so hard I accidentally hit the down vote before fixing it XD

[u/Ok-External-1094 → u/Lilsilly114]

Holy shit i can't say how many times I've done the same thing 0_0

[u/CharlesSteinmetz → u/Tainticle]

Google dead draw

[u/The_Alrighty_Zed → u/Icy-Jelly9648]

You are a god damn scholar. Fucking brilliant.

[u/KaranSjett]

No bishop, please!

[u/-ClassicShooter- → u/KaranSjett]

This can also be said at church

[u/The_lone_Nomad → u/-ClassicShooter-]

Or at a funeral

[u/Clackers2020 → u/-ClassicShooter-]

Only if you're 8 years old

[u/UrbanAbsconder → u/Clackers2020]

Older than 12 and the Bishop will have nothing to do with ya.

[u/Clackers2020 → u/UrbanAbsconder]

"When ya balls drop you're out" -The bishop

[u/Phantom3028 → u/Clackers2020]

💀

[u/giampierinofj → u/KaranSjett]

Best

[u/Trenchfun]

“Your dad taught me that move”

[u/bilgetea → u/Trenchfun]

Under-appreciated comment. Also consider the variation “My Dad/brother taught me that.”

[u/LocalCookingUntensil → u/bilgetea]

I learnt chess from my uncle 😳

[u/Pretend_Noise7554]

I'm gonna be quick

[u/Popular_District9072 → u/Pretend_Noise7554]

honesty is often underappreciated

[u/Extension_Swordfish1 → u/Popular_District9072]

My wife doesnt appreciate that at all.

[u/Extension-Type-2555 → u/Extension_Swordfish1]

the kids in my basement love the fact that I'm quick, for some reason they don't want me to last long... idk why

PS:for extreme legal reasons it's a joke.

[u/TheRealAuthorSarge]

I'm black.

[u/Mew2two1 → u/TheRealAuthorSarge]

I get to move first since I am white then

[u/buzzybeeking → u/Mew2two1]

White privilege

[u/minde281]

I'm gonna use a different opening this time

[u/Bebe_Rebozo_ → u/minde281]

Employ the Filthy Sanchez Defence

[u/Ok_Experience_6877]

Imma stick this chess piece in my ass

Edit:wow I wasn't expecting this to blow up thanks haha

Edit:edit: that doesn't mean you can have it back

[u/PBlove → u/Ok_Experience_6877]

R/technicallycorrect

[u/someone__420 → u/PBlove]

I’ll do correctly for you bro r/technicallythetruth

[u/PBlove → u/someone__420]

Thank you.

I blame something other than incompetence. As soon as I think up what that excuse is, I will tell you. :p

[u/Mr_Fungusman → u/PBlove]

Blame broken autocorrect

[u/Cye_the_Transfem → u/Mr_Fungusman]

blame it on the goose, got you feeling loose blame it on the throne, got you in the zone blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol

blame it on the vodka blame it on the henny blame it on the blue jay got you feeling dizzy blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol

[u/Local_Satisfaction12 → u/PBlove]

Still waiting for an update.

[u/ReneeDidntSayGo → u/PBlove]

r/foundthemobileuser

[u/PBlove → u/ReneeDidntSayGo]

😭

[u/First_Background1061 → u/Ok_Experience_6877]

not the bishop

[u/axesthefirst → u/Ok_Experience_6877]

Chessex?

[u/Ok_Share_4280 → u/axesthefirst]

Isn't that a town in the UK?

[u/axesthefirst → u/Ok_Share_4280]

No. You probably mistaken it with Paris.

[u/TheGlitchedGamer → u/Ok_Experience_6877]

Holy hell

[u/who_loves_you_ → u/Ok_Experience_6877]

Good job

[u/MasterI3laster]

Im not sure that’s even legal

[u/StrangeGrass9878 → u/MasterI3laster]

Saucy. This is a good one

[u/Majestic_Isopod439 → u/MasterI3laster]

Not here but mabye in Europe

[u/501102]

"some people do this with a vibrating device in their ass"

[u/Atti_alsu → u/501102]

:D

[u/RunnyPlease → u/501102]

It can actually improve your game.

[u/mosiah430 → u/501102]

What kind of chess are you playing?

[u/ChampionshipLow8541 → u/mosiah430]

International tournaments, obviously.

[u/Spice_and_Fox → u/ChampionshipLow8541]

That is still the most fun controvercy that I've witnessed.

[u/joseph_the_great1 → u/mosiah430]

Sinquefield Cup, Julius Baer Generation Cup and others, you know, the usual pro tournaments.

allegedly, Niemann cheated via a vibrating buttplug

[u/sewpungyow → u/mosiah430]

Opening with the Neimann Gambit

[u/Necessary_Let7926]

Sliding my rook into your open file...

[u/Monarch_Ashborn]

Quick finish, mate.

[u/realbighits218 → u/Monarch_Ashborn]

I’ll beat you before you finish me!

[u/h8tdis]

i'm gonna take that queen

[u/Rich_Hedberg → u/h8tdis]

I pinned the queen.

[u/h8tdis → u/Rich_Hedberg]

better than being pinned by the queen, depending on point of view

[u/Adune05 → u/h8tdis]

I respectfully prefer being pinned by the queen thanks

[u/Midknight129 → u/h8tdis]

Yeah, but have you checked out Queen-2?

[u/MataOK]

FUCK

[u/Famous_Ad_4258 → u/MataOK]

brilliantly

[u/Lowkey_Arki]

It was a trap

[u/sanek_dolboeb → u/Lowkey_Arki]

It's a trap

[u/Pilotjaimy]

The queen is destroying my tower

[u/IKOSH15 → u/Pilotjaimy]

Outstanding move...

[u/DepressoEspresso69-]

"oh so your gonna take my piece?"

[u/The_Lolatron9000 → u/DepressoEspresso69-]

"I can't checkmate the shit out of you without getting closer."

[u/Efficient-Care6804 → u/The_Lolatron9000]

r/unexpectedjojo

[u/Electrical-Tea-2672]

This seemed way easier online

[u/Yacrazyoldbastard]

That Queen is really fucking me

[u/koshop]

Google en passant

[u/Corruptiontheman → u/koshop]

holy hell

[u/LegenDude45 → u/Corruptiontheman]

new response just dropped

[u/Alexgadukyanking → u/LegenDude45]

Actual zombie

[u/pwrwd2 → u/Alexgadukyanking]

???

[u/NoelJr008 → u/pwrwd2]

Call the exorcist!

[u/Black_Bird00500 → u/NoelJr008]

Bishop takes vacation, never comes back

[u/LyamFinali → u/Black_Bird00500]

Knightmare fuel!

[u/Republic_of_Azuria → u/LyamFinali]

Pawn storm incoming

[u/Odd_Bit8387 → u/Republic_of_Azuria]

checkmate or riot

[u/EdiDragon96]

You are moving a lot

[u/Gerbal_Annihilation → u/EdiDragon96]

It only moves diagonally

[u/UnbelievableTxn6969]

"You're not allowed to go there."

[u/RazorsInMyTaco]

"I have no idea how this works, but it's nice to spend time with family"

[u/Bwest31415 → u/RazorsInMyTaco]

HolUp

[u/crazybigmanj]

I'm coming into your back rank

[u/TheBigSteve → u/crazybigmanj]

Please, never say this while having sex… unless your partner is also a chess nerd.

[u/Traitor_Of_Users]

You can only go straight

[u/shreksneighbour → u/Traitor_Of_Users]

What if someone wsnts to go gay?

[u/ManyWrongdoer9365]

Your Position makes me want to Mate you !

[u/Fellowes321]

Does it always take that long?

[u/The_lone_Nomad]

Your king is not gonna stand there for long

[u/FragrantDuck6533]

Well played

[u/Generic_Name_asshole]

I was just a pawn in your game.

[u/Abrigado_Rosso]

Why are you using a vibrator? That's cheating!

[u/Fun-Metal3893]

I quit!

[u/Big_ETH_boi]

I’m going to beat you.

[u/Dark_Marine1]

my king is unprotected

[u/KayabaSynthesis]

Oh no, the Bishop is going for the minor pawns

[u/WarLawck]

If you're in Australia, you can say Checkmate. Conversation for example:

Oh fuck, I think the condom broke.

Well fucking check, mate

[u/who-the-heck]

Check

[u/Zech08 → u/who-the-heck]

....followed by please and handshake.

[u/Glittering-Table-595]

Your turn.

[u/Hutch4588]

It does not matter if your black or white.

[u/SuspiciousFly_ → u/Hutch4588]

Micheal Jackson he he in the background

[u/Call_of_Tculhu]

I wish you were Anna Taylor Joy

[u/SuitEducational3746]

Next time we play, come prepare, I want it to last longer

[u/dasgrey]

Where dafuq did that Bishop come from?

[u/oofinator3050]

Please put the gun away

[u/AppleSasYum → u/oofinator3050]

I hate when I play chess, I checkmate my opponent and he pulls out a pistol and says "take it back"

[u/genocyde_syo]

It’s so far up my ass help

[u/vaganeedshelp]

Kids, stay away from the white Bishop.

[u/sinisterkid34]

“Fuck this, I quit”

[u/Karthathan]

Dang.... Over in four two moves?! (haha thanks u/laurel1234)

[u/smkestcklghtn]

The King has one move. The Queen goes wherever she wants

[u/retrogameresource → u/smkestcklghtn]

It's not over until the king finishes, babe

[u/Hotel_Hour]

As you can see, black is no competition for me.

Bend over, this is going to sting a little...

[u/ey6lc]

Draw?

[u/Mailpack]

Caught myself a queen

[u/MrPyroTF2]

your making this too hard on me

[u/tbass90K]

This is taking forever

[u/-l-I-I-l-]

French opening, bring out the bishop, sacrifice the queen for no apparent reason.

[u/Vettmdub]

Who's turn is it?

[u/OneDiscombobulated77]

Give me your little pawn

[u/Lukario06]

Why i lost my queen

[u/Captain_Farang]

No Honey. You can’t take the king.

[u/KyraJackson1919]

Move faster!

[u/EdiDragon96 → u/KyraJackson1919]

🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

[u/IHaveTheScurvy]

Looks like it's time for me to fuck you in the ass

[u/maurocastrov]

My grandma though me this move

[u/PackageUpbeat4625]

I am not familiar with this opening

[u/Powerful_Yogurt7451]

If a pawn goes all the way he turns into a queen

[u/pdhouse]

I’m mating you

[u/SpinnerLord]

I'm terrible at this

[u/Designer-Discount283]

Well that's how I fork!

[u/uberloww]

Where should I put my rock

[u/pr1ncezzBea]

Move faster.

[u/someone__420]

“Can you open up your position so I can mate you in the back rank”

[u/temporary34300]

Woah I didn't know you could do that move

[u/DonkeyApprehensive78]

“Ok, so what do I do with the horse again?”

[u/hawaiiangremlin]

This is way funner than playing with myself!