r/SapphoAndHerFriend Jan 19 '21

Announcement Welcome to /r/SapphoAndHerFriend! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

1.7k Upvotes

Hello everyone! It's been a long time! Imma be honest, I'm completely blown away by the amount of people who have joined and keep joining this community, it's so great to see you all found us! So it feels like a great time to update our welcome message to announce, among other things, a new Discord server we've been working on so we can all hang out and talk about various things. Check it out! https://discord.gg/E2XabTSdEG (Fixed link!)

If you're more of a lurker than a poster, you might be interested in (or even come from) one of the various channels that have made videos about the posts on this sub: Strange Æons, One Topic At A Time, Jammidodger, The Queer Kiwi, Lil Orange Plum, and a handful of other wonderful creators that like to bring you the best of this community so you can enjoy. However, if you're into posting and commenting, that's excelent news! We always welcome new posts and enjoy the conversation that forms around them. We do, however, have a few rules and considerations to keep in mind, in order to keep this community happy, healthy and learning. I've you've already read what's ahead you can go on and have fun; however, if you're new here or you haven't been paying much attention (as happens to all of us sometimes), you probably want to read what comes ahead so we can all have a good time here.

We are focused specifically on making awareness of LGBTQ erasure. That means all posts should be explicitly about people failing to acknowledge homoerotic or gender-binary-nonconforming people and situations. We don't use the words "gay" or "trans" as hard labels when we talk about historical people, because culture evolves and language with it, but they are useful identifiers if we want to talk about what they did or how they felt. We know these labels might change from year to year and from culture to culture, so don't feel obligated to stick with them when we talk about a pre-modern context, though it's okay if you do use it because we all understand what you mean. If something is not entirely clear, asking is encouraged.

That said, when we talk about modern people who have made their identity explicit we very much enforce respecting that identity. If someone is a declared bisexual, for example, and you insist they're straight or gay, you're being rude, and we don't like that. Please use the labels and pronouns people have chosen to go by. Deliberately misgendering people is a bannable offence.

On that note, we have pronoun flairs for the most common identities and you can customise one in case it doesn't perfectly fit you. They're optional, but if someone uses them you should refer to that person with those pronouns. There is room for mistakes but we can also see when someone's being rude on purpose, so don't. This is a place for everyone to feel welcome and respecting their gender identity is a huge part of that. Be welcoming so you'll continue to be welcome.

Finally: our rules are very short and concise. Please read and follow them. We want this place to be full of learning and fun, but we need your help with that. If you came from the videos or if you read the comments, you know the vibe. Let's all vibe. If someone is breaking the rules, please use the report button; some people have messaged us over chat or inbox but the report button is much more useful to us. That way we can deal with situations as soon as we see them.

With all that said, I hope you know we're all trying to do our best to give our community a place where we can enjoy ourselves and talk about our history and experiences. Also, be sure to check our sister subreddits: r/LGBTHistory, r/LGBTCulture and r/SapphireAndHerFriend. Have a wonderful time browsing and participating [EDIT: it's come to my attention that Reddit is currently acting against what was previously said in this part so we're not gonna say it out loud because keeping this place up and running is priority, but you guys know how we feel towards Nazis and Fascism]. Cheers, good luck and good day!


r/SapphoAndHerFriend Oct 02 '21

Announcement Join our adjacent subreddit, /r/LGBTHistory!

580 Upvotes

/r/SapphoAndHerFriend is only for examples of erasure. But people often post history and historical figures without the erasure component nonetheless. To accommodate this, we made another subreddit: /r/LGBTHistory! It's been around for a while but remains underutilized, so hopefully bringing more attention to it will help it grow. Join it if you would like more posts about LGBTQ history and historical figures!

Also, if you have any ideas for the subreddit's icon and banner, lemme know!


r/SapphoAndHerFriend 1d ago

Memes and satire Did you ever get the feeling you're only goin' with girls 'cause you're supposed to?

3.7k Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 1d ago

Memes and satire Tbh the only women who play magic are queer

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329 Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 1d ago

Anecdotes and stories Nisus and Euryalus, a pair of soldiers and lovers in The Aeneid. After Euryalus dies and Nisus recieves mortal wounds, Nisus throws his own body by Nisus's "to find his rest and peace," and Vergil describes them as a "Lucky pair." Earlier he notes that "Love bound these two." NSFW

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39 Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 3d ago

Memes and satire Just besties!

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7.4k Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 2d ago

Memes and satire Monkey (originally by @pico-cosmos on yt)

577 Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 3d ago

Memes and satire oh my god they are roommates

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2.3k Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 3d ago

Casual erasure "Two Friends" by Picasso(1904) NSFW

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2.7k Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 2d ago

Casual erasure Reading the letters to the Mitford sisters and thought this needed to be shared. (Giuditta "roomed" with Pamela after her divorce.)

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66 Upvotes

Honks=Diana Woo=Pamela Naunce=Nancy - these letters were exchanged not long after Pamela's sudden death.


r/SapphoAndHerFriend 3d ago

Academic erasure From Misjustice by Helena Kennedy… they were Vicaragemates

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129 Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 3d ago

Memes and satire Best 10 seconds of thor: love and thunder [valkyrie hand kiss]

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354 Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 5d ago

Casual erasure The title speaks for itself, but the text is worse…

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1.4k Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 5d ago Take My Energy

Casual erasure Apparently I'm too tall to be trans

2.9k Upvotes

So this guy at the store after I said I was a trans girl just responded"what trans girl would choose to be so tall you can't be trans." I mean first off I'm only like 6'2. Second I don't even think this guy was trying to be rude he was just literally confused. And I don't understand why.


r/SapphoAndHerFriend 5d ago

Casual erasure ChatGPT is a historian 😭

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223 Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 7d ago

Casual erasure Girls don't get distracted by a woman's boobs?

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4.9k Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 7d ago

Memes and satire You’ve heard of queer erasure. Now introducing:

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4.4k Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 7d ago

Casual erasure Soul sisters..?

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1.3k Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 7d ago

Academic erasure The Great Mortality by John Kelly. Fantastic book, but this made me laugh

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48 Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 8d ago

Media erasure Theatre icon Charlotte Cushman and her "jolly female bachelor" friends

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5.9k Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 7d ago

Anecdotes and stories DeSantis to expand 'Don't Say Gay' law to all grades

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35 Upvotes

A little state sponsored erasure


r/SapphoAndHerFriend 9d ago

Casual erasure I was really confused by this card at first

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2.1k Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 8d ago

Casual erasure I guess Patroclus is a girl’s name

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874 Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 9d ago

Memes and satire Saw Ken’s buddy Alan at a branding museum today. Glad to hear Ken has such great pals

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5.4k Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 9d ago

Anecdotes and stories The Historian Is Gay, Too

215 Upvotes

Had strange reverse Sappho And Her Friend moment at the museum where I work the other day, kind of.

Two college students were on my tour, and every time I talked about a man who's very central to the site- and who was gay -they giggled and exchanged knowing looks. This man does check some stereotype boxes, I freely admit: never married, very artistic and flamboyant, had a rift with his father, into interior design, etc. So I'm not surprised they picked up on that. But we hadn't yet gotten to the room where I out him formally- though of course, if directly asked before that part of the tour, I'll freely talk about his sexuality.

(We have letters to, from, and about him. Dude was Big Gay. No question in anyone's mind.)

In one room I said something about a photo of him and a friend in this space, and these girls LOST IT. They both burst out laughing, and one started pointedly asking me, "were they Very Good Friends? were they Roommates?"

I said something like, "He was gay, if that's what you're asking. We usually talk about that in [other space], because it's something we feel is important to be open about. This other man, though, was more of a cordial acquaintence- so yes, they really were just friends." I think I cracked a joke about "Historians will not say they were roommates on this tour!" but they kept laughing as if I'd denied everything. It was very weird.

Like. Folks. Do you want to stop erasure, or just feel superior?


r/SapphoAndHerFriend 10d ago

Casual erasure It's not like they had it institutionalised, oh wait

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1.8k Upvotes

r/SapphoAndHerFriend 10d ago

Media erasure Mystique and her "Beloved Friend"

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1.4k Upvotes