r/shittymoviedetails Mar 29 '23

You can tell the characters in "Alien Covenant" are all from the USA, because when they explore an alien planet, they don't bother with any sort of environmental suits for protection, but they do bring assault rifles.

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3.9k Upvotes

372

u/ralo229 Mar 29 '23

That guy who littered on an alien planet that he just discovered moments beforehand deserved to die.

8

u/Kotori425 Mar 29 '23

My sentiments exactly

212

u/jcruz321 Mar 29 '23

They learned from the first one when they decided not to bring weapons to an expedition on an alien planet.

87

u/ClammyVagikarp Mar 29 '23

But they did bring protective gear that ended up being useless.

115

u/AtlasMKII Mar 29 '23

You can't really blame it on the equipment, one of the guys literally had drones mapping out every inch of the ship and he still managed to get completely lost

28

u/Bizarre_Protuberance Mar 29 '23

The drones mapped out the ship but he grew up with GPS, so he never learned how to read a map.

5

u/patrickwithtraffic Mar 29 '23

Why Ridley cut the reasoning for the inept crew in the original script boggles me. For the curious, the company offered up the gig to anyone at a high price, but without any job description until they arrived on the planet. As a result, it attracted less than stellar people, but it allowed the company to keep everything in the dark.

1

u/MonKeePuzzle Mar 30 '23

and ignored quarantine protocols

24

u/ReverseCarry Mar 29 '23

I do however think it’s funny that in the year 2104, they are technologically advanced enough for interstellar travel, but their defense solution of choice is a rifle that’s over a 100 years old, with 100 year old attachments. It would be like packing a Lee-Enfield today.

16

u/Haver_Of_The_Sex Mar 29 '23

To be fair, the AR15 platform is very difficult to improve on. Otherwise the US military would have done it earlier.

15

u/Crab-_-Objective Mar 29 '23

The M2 platform is already over a century old too. Certain weapon types reach a peak of effectiveness where as you said it can’t really be improved upon.

11

u/ReverseCarry Mar 29 '23

True, but a hundred years tho? Don’t get me wrong, it’s an excellent platform no two ways about it, but I don’t think it’s got that M2 longevity. I would think that body armor would eventually advance far enough to make smaller cartridges somewhat less viable. And without launching into a debate over the contentious M5 replacement, we can at least see some improvements are in the works already. But it’s still a good point, so fair enough.

Beyond that, let’s say the keep using the AR-15 and it is still the best choice in the future as it is today. We still slapping EOTechs on that mf? A hundred years of innovation from now and we still using that thing? Even the M5 has that bougie ass aimbot scope on it. 100 years in the future, and I am expecting a scope that will scan your targets face and upload an obituary to their social media.

3

u/Bizarre_Protuberance Mar 29 '23

Yes, but this is the Alien universe. We know that by the time of "Aliens", they have switched to pulse rifles firing caseless ammo. For continuity reasons alone, I would have preferred that the weapons would be either the pulse rifles from "Aliens" or something halfway there.

3

u/patrickwithtraffic Mar 29 '23

A reminder that Alien: Covenant takes place before Alien, which takes place over 50 years before Aliens. So with that in mind, I could buy the pulse rifle needing 60 more years to get properly cooked before serving to the US Space Marines.

3

u/Bizarre_Protuberance Mar 30 '23

Fair enough. I don't hate the use of modern weapons in Alien Covenant. I just thought it would be nice to see a pulse rifle or pulse rifle precursor.

1

u/ReverseCarry Mar 31 '23

I fully agree, and in fact I’d say it would even be better just for the symmetry. Like we see all the early/incomplete stages of everything else in the Alien Universe, the space ships, the Xenomorphs, etc. Having a Proto-pulse rifle would fit right in

3

u/WechTreck Mar 29 '23 edited Mar 29 '23

Danish Artic patrol currently use the M1917 Enfield bolt-action rifle chambered in .30-06 Springfield, because tough climate.

Canada rangers switched recently from the Lee Enfield to the Tikka bolt action

If you're going to a unhuman climate maybe not at the top of the food chain, simple boom stick might be better than Gucci kit.

127

u/Sufficient_Permit707 Mar 29 '23

"they don't bother with any sort of environmental suits"

Excuse me, they're wearing hats

99

u/Imnotcreative6942069 Mar 29 '23

A-fuckin-men we do. We gon get them alien sonbitches before they get us!

45

u/Dr-McLuvin Mar 29 '23

Dey took ere jerbs those damn aliuns!

38

u/Funandgeeky Mar 29 '23

I hated this move because every character made the most foolish choice possible in order to advance the plot. It's terrible writing. Better writing would have been if every character made the most intelligent choice and they STILL wound up in the middle of a disaster.

Event Horizon is a movie in which every character makes the smart choice. The problem is that they are up against something that's a lot more powerful and cunning and evil. When they figure that out, they continue to make smart choices. More films should be like Event Horizon, and that movie came out 25 years ago.

26

u/Bizarre_Protuberance Mar 29 '23

By the time the captain sticks his face right in the open egg, I think the audience has just accepted that they're all stupid.

11

u/vengeful_toaster Mar 29 '23

They also blindly trust the native and split up the moment they arrive

5

u/osamabinlaidoffwork Mar 29 '23

It shits on everything the first movie set up. The Engineers were a very interesting concept, but somehow they’re outsmarted by a robot. Then the robot does science experiments on Shaw and creates Xenos? Those Xenos somehow thrive on a deserted planet for ages before a ship shows up.

Prometheus as a stand alone film would have been so good, and even better if Covenant actually tried to cover up the plot holes in the first one. Instead it tries to recreate Alien with a different setting and it blows up on their faces spectacularly.

3

u/GasolinePizza Mar 29 '23

How were the engineers outsmarted by David?

Didn't he just take the ship and do a "bomb" run on their world?

5

u/Bizarre_Protuberance Mar 29 '23

I'm not sure that this planet was actually the Engineer homeworld. There doesn't seem to be much technological infrastructure, and if it were their homeworld, you would expect a lot more ships and orbital installations. I think it's another planet, much like Earth, where they experimented with creating offspring species.

Still, it's a big disappointment that Alien Covenant didn't really follow the story of Prometheus. Prometheus may have had its critics, but the film did have a certain atmospheric appeal to it, and I would have liked to see that story continue. Instead, they just killed that whole plot-line off-screen and went off in another direction.

2

u/GasolinePizza Mar 29 '23

Right, definitely not their homeworld. I did assume it was still "their" world in some kind of fashion though, as a colony or whatnot.

2

u/Funandgeeky Mar 29 '23

Honestly I’m not a fan of Prometheus either.

3

u/hoorah9011 Mar 29 '23

You hate every movie where people make foolish choices? That's most movies.

2

u/Funandgeeky Mar 29 '23

It’s why I love Honest Trailers and Pitch Meetings.

And there’s a difference between character driven choices and plots that can only happen because no one has common sense. And when those lacking in common sense are supposedly highly intelligent people- it rankles me.

I expect this type of logic in an 80s slasher film.

1

u/MonKeePuzzle Mar 30 '23

yes… OP already said every character was an american

46

u/devilterr2 Mar 29 '23

Yeah this is what made me fully dislike these two movies.

Both movies have horrendous quarantine procedures and people are just being stupid to advance the plot. Nothing about either of them makes any logical sense with how people would react to their environment.

Yes foreign planet with life and potentially alien bacteria. Let's just not wear protective suits and masks. Oh a weird alien snake thing, let's get within a metre of it. Oh another android that has clearly just killed or experimented on someone, let's follow what he says.

23

u/tundra-psy Mar 29 '23

this is my issue with not only these movies, but so many others as well. this happens in almost every zombie movie too. there needs to be more smart, competent characters - they shouldn't need to be negative iq to advance the plot

12

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '23

if we learned nothing else from covid, its that, if anything, movies are far more accurate predicting the stupidity of people in a crisis then we like to think.

If we had a zombie apocalypse... 35% of america would be queuing up for zombie bite parties, and russia would be murdering anyone warning people about zombies...

2

u/tundra-psy Mar 29 '23

Maybe for a lot of people, but there's no excuse for movies that depict trained response teams without PPE or standard safety measures

3

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '23

Why not? Trained doctors and nurses joined the anti makers and anti vaxxers.

0

u/tundra-psy Mar 29 '23

I'm not saying that wouldn't make for an interesting character, but that should be borne out in their characterization. The overwhelming majority of doctors and researchers aren't anti-vaxx or mask, and there's literally no reason biohazard response teams don't use PPE, other to advance the plot.

Also, if a movie is depicting the 'best of the best' team of anything (like in the alien movie from this post if I remember correctly), the verisimilitude falls apart when they don't exercise standard caution that anyone would, much less an expert who fully grasps the danger

1

u/astralbelligerency Mar 29 '23

I see your point about realism but also if I wanted to watch fucking morons make stupid choices 24/7 I could literally just go outside, I don’t want to see that in my movies

1

u/Kyledren Mar 29 '23

That's why I really enjoyed A Quiet Place, all of the characters are actually smart with the way they set up everything. The only time something stupid happened was in the very start but that doesn't really count since they were a small kid.

8

u/TheFanciestUsername Mar 29 '23

The only downside of that movie is how obvious the monsters’ weakness is. It’s been years, you think they would have tried loud noises.

1

u/128hoodmario Mar 29 '23

Wasn't just the loud noise I don't think, it was the specific high frequency.

2

u/jcruz321 Mar 29 '23

I actually like these movies but I agree, they made a majority of the characters ridiculously stupid.

2

u/devilterr2 Mar 29 '23

I enjoyed the world building, the history and development, but fucking hell the characters pissed me off which took me out of the immersion

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '23

hey 35% of them, based on what we learned over the last 3 years, should be that stupid when it comes to life threatening, but new, problems.

1

u/-neti-neti- Mar 29 '23

I enjoyed the movies but I was able to just surrender to their stupidity and enjoy the visuals and worldbuilding.

Every day, the real world reminds me just how plausible immense levels of stupidity are.

22

u/KiwianaQuiche Mar 29 '23

The true threat in this movie was the constant stupidity of all the characters

8

u/joshhguitar Mar 29 '23

That germ was coming right at me!

5

u/Caeoc Mar 29 '23

Okay but in their defense, they live in the fucking Alien universe.

1

u/MonKeePuzzle Mar 30 '23

so THEY were the aliens all along!

12

u/BioSpark47 Mar 29 '23 edited Mar 29 '23

Europeans famously wore environmental protection suits when invading foreign lands

21

u/FlacidSalad Mar 29 '23

It actually stants for ARMALIGHT RIFEL and I will THANK you for doing some PROPER RESEARCH before espousing on our beloved #1 county!!!!.!

8

u/Current_Blackberry_4 Mar 29 '23

You misgendered that gun, it is clearly an M4

2

u/MonKeePuzzle Mar 30 '23

ermalite guns cant be very good, why’d it take em 15 versions to make a good en?

0

u/Rollover_Hazard Mar 29 '23

Which county is number one?

3

u/something_creativity Mar 29 '23

Lanark-Frontenac county.

20

u/anunabha1 Mar 29 '23

There was no school on that planet so unfortunately they couldnot use them effectively

2

u/MonKeePuzzle Mar 30 '23

i think you’ll find theres several times across the Alien movie series where they break in an wipe out entire nurseries of eggs

1

u/anunabha1 Mar 30 '23

Habits die hard

5

u/Jman_Foxclaw Mar 29 '23

They were American because after arriving they setup a Walmart right next to the crashed alien ship

2

u/Lonewolfblitz Mar 30 '23

God, what a dreadful movie this was

1

u/Summoning14 Mar 29 '23

This might be the stupidest crew I've ever watched in a movie.

0

u/CarlJustCarl Mar 29 '23

Hell yeah!

1

u/Hombre_Lobo_ Mar 29 '23

Those are a part of the environmental protection.

1

u/spadePerfect Mar 29 '23

God I fucking hated Alien Covenant. At least Prometheus is fun and looks good.

1

u/CautiouslyReal Mar 29 '23

To be fair, all of these people are on a colony ship. Space is at a premium on a ship like that and they weren't even expecting to go on the planet. You as an audience member know what's going on, so you think you would take precautions, but either didn't or couldn't because of the limitations of their mission and equipment.

1

u/Shadowlands97 21d ago

And they don't know how to use them correctly.